Teenaged Girls: God's Gift to Me
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I've always had a special place in my heart for teenage girls. And a special place in my bedroom. The bed place, specifically.
Unfortunately, the law is no longer on my side. Oh sure, I can still thumb through my Delia's catalogue, trying to decide which girl to order, but it's frowned upon if they ever arrive. Unfortunately (for me), they don't. I do have a nice collection of baby-t's and tank tops now, though.
Because I don't want to be seen as a freak, I'm giving out a homework to all guys: date teenage girls. My logic is, if everyone is doing it, I'll be normal.
High schools, shopping malls, driver's education courses. These are all good places to meet teenage girls. You'll never run out of things to talk about because you went to high school, and she's in high school. She has a part time job at Wet Seal; you work full time at some office downtown. She was born in 1984; you read 1984. It's a match made in heaven.
Teenage girls are not without their problems. They almost always live at home and have a father. A lot of guys who date teenage girls try to become his friend, but this will never work, because he only sees you as a penis. A walking, talking penis. If you become his friend, he'll learn things about you. He'll learn you live alone. In a nicer place than he does. And you make more money than he does.
So, avoid him entirely and when you can't avoid him, lie to him. If you are lucky enough to date a teenage girl who has a car, this isn't as hard. But if you have to pick her up, lie about everything. You're not a web-designer/waiter/bartender, you're a student. It's your freshman year of Local University and you still live with your folks, because you love your mom. If you look young enough, say you go to Local Area High School and plan on going to Local University in a year or so.
As a final helper, I made this handy, wallet-sized Age of Consent card. It lists the Age of Consent for every state in the union. Lucky you, South Carolina and Hawaii.
Just download that, print it out, and remember, if you cross state lines, everything will be fine.
Dakota Smith takes no legal responsibility for anything. Ever.