Filler Friday: Radio Showgram
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Every Thursday the entire uber.nu crew gets together for our weekly staff meeting. From all over the country, we make the trek over to Ben's house. This week, instead of actually writing something, I decided to record it to give you, the lifeless uber.nu fanatic, a glimpse into the creative process.
Download (mp3 format)
Or, if you're aurally impaired, you can peruse the transcript.
[doorbell rings]
adam : Hi, this adam mathes here outside uber.nu international headquarters.
[doorbell rings again]
adam: Actually, it's just ben's house, and he doesn't seem to be answering the door.
adam: BEN!
adam: Ben?
adam: Oh geez, ben, it's staff meeting day, and you're lying on the kitchen floor in a pool of your own vomit. Again.
ben: hi adm blahlskdj ;lkjaf;lkj
adam: no, i don't have any malt liquor. jesus. would you get up already? we're supposed to have the staff meeting.
ben: blkha;lkj ;lkj
[doorbell rings again]
ben: lkjlkjw!
adam: don't worry, i'll get it.
[door opens]
adam: well well well, if it isn't the wonder twins, andy and andrea.
andy & andrea: wondertwins power activate!
andy: form of a "shut up adam"
andrea: form of an "angry 5"2 girl with adamantium teeth!"
adam: god andy, you have SUCH a wussy voice. ok, seriously you two - no smootchie smootchie kissy kissy this time, we've got the new staff members coming over, and we need to have a real meeting here, ok?
ben: bahb;lkj alkjsldkj
adam: who gave him another bottle? ben, can you just go sit down please.
ben: va;lkj my webzine, my server... sit.
adam: ok, now that we're all here, can we discuss what exactly we're going to do with the new ubers as i like to call them?
andy: i say we give them a spin off, you know, like x-men spun off x-factor and...
andrea: that's a great idea!
adam: god, you guys are dorks.
ben: bleh, same site, nospinfs and days and scheldkja; fbassjk
[doorbell]
adam: ah, must be some of the new ubers. come on in the door's open?
dakota: can i get some cat nuggets, please?
adam: you don't sound ANYTHING like alf!
dakota: i'll take care of it!
adam: and would take off that stupid alf costume. geez. what kind of numbnuts did you hire ben?
ben: i bleh blkja;lksjd you suck.
[kissy noises]
adam: jesus andy, andrea! seriously! not now! we're trying to have a meeting here!
[doorbell]
adam: dakota, can you get that?
dakota: i'll take care of it!
adam: oh geez. hi nate.
nate: and i think the first thing we need to discuss is how adam completely ruined my survivor piece because it was really funny and then he edited it and then it was ruined and not funny and not very good because he edited but before edited it it was really really really good
ben: filler fllakja; lkjasdf; sfdl;kj survivor
adam: exactly ben, which is why i'm the only one allowed to do filler fridays anymore. now, why doesn't everybody sit down and we can proceed... no, nate, dakota you can't sit with me and ben, you have to sit at the kiddie table because you're not real uber writers, you're the new ubers...
nate: but there's two empty seats and...
adam: dammit! where did andy and andrea go! would you two get off the damned couch and sit back down so we can have this meeting.
nate: and i think the first thing we need to discuss is how adam completely ruined my survivor...
andy: my god nate just just drop it.
andrea: yeah. also, boobs.
adam: andrea, i don't really see how that's relevant to the discussion...
andrea: and lesbians!
adam: dakota, can you shut nate up?
dakota: i'll take care of it!
adam: so i was thinking that maybe we could all just sit around and talk about, you know, stuff, i'll record it, mp3 it, and that'll be this week's filler friday. what do you guys thing?
ben: vlah alkjd;lkja;lkj;lkja
adam: don't wave that bottle like that man, you're scaring me.
ben: happlkj f;lkjas;lkj;lkj
adam: fine fine. geez.
[doorbell]
[more kissing noises]
adam: my god you two! can't you keep your lips off of each other for 3 seconds!
that concludes the first ever uber.nu radio showgram. i hope that you've enjoyed this little look into the creative process that goes into creating such a fine webzine product. this is adam mathes, signing off.
Adam Mathes loves new staff members.