Filler Friday: An Incorrect Statement
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by Adam Mathes | originally published on 2001-01-26

This week we printed a number of submissions. This is because all of the staff writers are lazy.

But please, people, whatever you do, don't submit lists. Ben is becoming lazy and slack enough to publish them. (We only published one list this week, and it was good, and it recieved many hits. -Ed) And my god, lists are stupid. They are even below "Filler" level quality. For example, one might think that the following constitutes a valid Über article:

Things You Don't Want to See on a Class Syllabus
Adam "Bitches Love Me Because They Know That I Can Rock" Mathes

The first day you show up to class, they give you a piece of paper, with a description and syllabus. These are things you don't want to see anywhere on that piece of paper:

  1. "Heidegger"
  2. "800 pages a week"
  3. "no late work accepted"
  4. "translation and reading of real Latin"
  5. "Heidegger"
  6. "Friday at 9 am"
  7. "Heidegger"
  8. "substantial programming project"
  9. "required to partake in psychology experiments"
  10. "attendance will be taken"
  11. "Freedom and Eros"
  12. "mandatory discussion section"
  13. "NP-completeness"
  14. "fuller understanding of microprocessor design"
  15. "fulfills GER3B: feminist studies"
  16. "multiple midterms"

Adam Mathes is not loved by any bitches.

See? Didn't that suck? Now that you've seen how much it sucks, try not sucking. Thanks. Unless you're me, in which case you have dispensation. But you're not me; I'm me. I think.

Editor's Note: Please do continue submitting lists. But not just any lists! We will reject lists like the above list. We want lists that don't make sense. Adam's example list makes far too much sense, hence is not appropriate.

Important Footnote to Editor's Note: The above statement is not a special call for more lists. We don't want lists. I mean, we do want lists, but we don't want a special outpouring of lists just because. We'd rather you submit something else. But the occasional list is alright. Are we clear now?

Adam Mathes is dazed and confused.

Adam Mathes is dazed and confused.