Meet Sexy Techsan, The High Tech Redneck
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Q - What's the Innernet?
A - Well, I'm glad you asked. The Innernet is a high speed communication network which allows us to do in our homes that which we once did by going down to Stucky's after dark and paying the cover price plus five so the clerk wouldn't tell our moms.
Q - What do we do with the Innernet?
A - Most anything we can get away with.
Q - I here all these funny words on the Innernet. Like, what is cybering?
A - Cybering is like a 900 hundred number, but with a keyboard instead of a phone. Cybering requires a thorough knowledge of the Innernet to do well, but once you know how - shoo-wee!
Q - What's he - male?
A - Boy, if you don't know what a man's he - male is you don't need to be reading any of this. To properly use a he - male on the innernet, you need a he - male address, so you and the person you're cybering with can send each other neked pictures.
Your he - male address is gotten from a he - male server. You should pick your server that describes you or the reaction you want to make. Appropriate servers are Yahoo, Hotmale, or Herwire. Avoid he - male addresses from places such as DoItYourself, spl.at, or mutantweb.
Also make sure that the person you cyber with has a fe - male address, not a he - male or even a she - male. The Innernet is a big place.
Q - What sort of precautions should you take when cybering?
A - The usual precautions are not neccessary - cybering is always safe. Do however remember to have a towell handy.
Like I said before the Innernet is a big place. You never know who you're talking to. For all you know 'FruitBooty6969' could be your cousin or sump'm. Use subtle questions to check, like in the example below:
SexyTechsan: Hey, you ain't from around *here* are you?
FruityBooty6969: No.
Q - What's Netiquette?
A - That's like Innernet table manners - though you'd never mention anything you did online over dinner.
Just be plain nice to people, and try not to sound like a cop, or else no one will cyber with you.
Again, the Innernet is a big place. Sometimes you might be talking to a foreigner, and just like in real life you need to be extra clear to them, as in this example:
BigTitedSexyBitchWhore: do u $eXXX?
SexyTechsan: Whut?
BigTitedSexyBitchWhore: show me you @$$ raunchy
SexyTexhsan: I don't understand, speak real language
BigTitedSexyBitchWhore: :-O shoot @ my @$$!!
SexyTechsan : SPEAKO ENGLISH? ARE YOU STUPIDO? TALK REAL TALKO!
This shows the importance of understanding the Innernet and communicating correctly.
In summary, the Innernet can make a full third of your daily activities easier (sleeping and drinking are not affected). To get the most out of the Innernet you have to learn. And, finnally, if someone doesn't understand you immidiatly, type bigger until they do.
Erik Harrison will get some shit for this one...