The Moment Of Truth
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It’s been five days since Peter last spoke to me. It is very clear why he would blame me for what happened, but the truth is that I didn’t have that much control over it. I was as surprised as he at the turn of events. I have no idea what went wrong, everything was going really well until that crucial moment, and I was ready to make history, when it was suddenly all over. Just like that.
I’ll never forget the look on his face as he stood there after our fiasco, looking at his reflection in the mirror, his handsome, freshly shaved cheeks burning red with shame, embarrassment, and humiliation. He kept shaking his head in shocked bewilderment, muttering: ”This isn’t happening. Fuck, this just isn’t!”
The fact that things worked out this way wasn’t the worst of it, what made it truly tragic was that this happened before. Twice. The first time we crashed and burned we blamed it on our inexperience, and the second one on too much booze. Peter was devastated both times of course, and blamed the failure on me, but I think that deep inside he knew that I had not much to do with it. Because although I have a mind of my own, the fact is I am unable to function without him. The two of us always work together, we are, for all intents and purposes, a team.
It wasn’t always like this. Peter and I have been a part of each other ever since he was born, but he didn’t pay much attention to me until he was about eight. After that he became very attached to me, and in all those years that followed we were always very close. Peter is now 23, and in the last fifteen years I’ve been his greatest pride, his best buddy, and we had a lot of fun together. Like the time we started experimenting, first because it was fun, then later because it became an absolute necessity, and we had such a blast doing it. Peter always had a great imagination, he was willing to try all kinds of things. He took pride in my ability to give a great performance, no matter how crazy his ideas were, and he never forgot to comment on my greatness – when no one was around of course.
As the years went by we got better and better, and we both knew that soon the experimental period would be over, and one day we’d face the real thing. We had no fear, we’ve had enough practice behind us, thanks to Peter’s vivid imagination and his favourite magazines. So when the time arrived, we both felt ready and well prepared, and I could barely contain my excitement. Peter had to calm me down several times, and I tried my best not to cause him unnecessary embarrassment, but by God, as the hours went by I was practically ready to burst from sheer excitement!
Finally it was showtime, or at least it had to be, because after a certain point Peter stopped being concerned about my highly elevated mood, he made absolutely no attempt to subdue me, and when he revealed my presence at last, I had no trouble showing off my best form.
The girl was gorgeous. I couldn’t see her face well, which I didn’t mind, after all, why would I care about that, but she had a cuter bellybutton than Miss July, and I certainly appreciated that. She had beautiful, round hips, shapely, muscular thighs, and smooth, well tanned skin. When I caught sight of her beautiful, full lips - and you bet I’m not talking about the ruby red ones currently nibbling on Peters’s ears -, I began to drool freely, and would’ve grinned if I were able to, as I happily got ready to dive in.
And that’s when the stuff hit the fan. I suddenly felt my body weaken, and I went limp like a wilted rose. I tried fighting it, but there was nothing I could do, it was all over, and then I found myselved covered. I heard Peter’s muffled voice, filled with anguished embarrassment, then the door slammed, and the next thing I saw was Peter looking at both of us in the mirror, his face flushed from shame and anger.
”I can’t believe this” he barked, and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Then he looked down at me, and shook his head angrily. ”What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Of course I couldn’t say anything, but if I could I would’ve protested with all my might. It was clearly not my fault, I was good and ready, it was Peter who let us down, but of course it’s always easier to blame the little guy, isn’t it? Especially when he can’t talk back.
Peter was in a rotten mood for weeks after that, and he wouldn’t even look at me. He kept blaming me, then himself for getting nervous, so when the next opportunity came he decided to get rid of his nervousness, and work up a little courage by downing a few beers before his date. Unfortunately that didn’t work, because the second time ended just like the first, and with his ego seriously bruised, and his confidence at the lowest level, I was worried Peter might not go for it again. And he didn’t, for a while at least, but he got over his disappointment, and soon we were back in the game again.
And then there we were again, with our third fiasco behind us, with absolutely no clue what went wrong.
He didn’t speak to me for a long time after that, and didn’t even pay any attention to me, until one day he brought someone home again. All right, I thought, we are back in business! I hoped this girl was going to be as yummy as the other three were, and we wouldn’t screw up again, if you don’t mind the pun. It was time for our bad luck to end, and get some real action for the first time in our lives.
Peter seemed to be doing fine, I felt he was in a real good mood, so I kept my excitement in check, and waited for the opportunity to perform my grand entrance. Which came soon, hell, even a lot sooner than I expected. Peter must have found the horniest girl in town, because they got to it practically the moment they got in the door. I could feel his excitement building, faster than ever before, and I stood there, bursting with eagerness, ready for the greatest action of my life. Then I was out in the open, throbbing with power, and that’s when I got the shock of my life.
About two feet from me, sticking out in an approximately 70 degree angle, stood the meanest looking dick I’ve ever seen. It was thin and wrinkled, had an air of arrogance about it, and with its ugly red colour and the dark, black bush surrounding it I swear it looked like a headless turkey.
I was frozen in my position as I stared at that monstrosity, and for a few seconds I thought I’d gone crazy. It stared back at me, and began to raise itself until it was at the same height as me. If I had feet this would’ve been the time when I stepped back, and said, Whoa! Get away from me you mean bastard! Unfortunately there was no way for me to retreat, and when Peter moved forward and I found myself nose to nose with that ugly fucker I panicked. What’s happening? I thought in horror, when Peter, who up till now was busy doing I don’t even dare to think about what, suddenly spoke up.
”How long have you suspected I was gay?”
”I’ve known it since I laid eyes on you for the first time,” Peter’s date answered softly.
”Why didn’t you say anything?”
”I thought it’d better if you figured it out yourself.”
I listened to this with a sinking feeling, staring ahead in absolute bewilderment. Then Peter took another step forward, and to my utter horror I found myself rubbing against the intruder, and it gave me the creeps. Okay, this is it, I thought, and let myself go, but to my astonishment nothing happened. I remained fully erect, and all my attempts to go limp have failed. No matter how hard I fought it, Peter was in total control, and there was nothing I could do about it, he kept pushing me closer and closer. UGH! I thought as I brushed against the mean son of a bitch once again, and a wave of relief washed over me when it suddenly moved away.
Oh shit, that was close. I hoped my torture was over, but when suddenly a white, hairy ass came into view I knew I was in for something really bad. Oh fuck! I groaned soundlessly, Peter, please don’t do this to me! Nevertheless, I kept moving towards it helplessly, and then I was suddenly thrust forward, towards a bleak, new future.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to get used to it.
Ildiko Giczi is not actually a confused homosexual.