A listing of 13 things thought by cows and where they thought them
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1) Northern Nevada in February, "I'm in a desert, standing in a foot of snow, and it's raining. Life sucks."
2) In a New York subway car, "Moo."
3) In the car directly behind the previous subway car, "I wonder if there are any other cows on this subway train."
4) In a aerodynamics class at the University of Wisconsin, Madison "The lift per unit length of an airfoil is equal to the integral of the gradient of pressure from the leading to the trailing edge by dx."
5) In Jewish hell being eternally dammed, "I sure wish I hadnít eaten that pork."
6) In Christian hell being eternally damned, "I sure wish I hadnít converted to Judaism."
7) Being milked in a small farm in Ohio in 1842, "I sure wish that farmer's hands were warmer. Life sucks."
8) The first living thing from earth to set foot on the moon, "That's one small step for a cow, one giant leap for whoever it was who sent a cow to the moon."
9) In a firefight on a jungle island in the south Pacific, 1944, "I've been shot! MEDIC!!! moo."
10) In a slaughter house, "Ow. I am dead. Life sucks."
11) On a pirate ship, "Aye, me maties! Me be rank with scurvy and there be far too few wenches on this here ship. Arrr!"
12) In South Central LA, "We be pimpn' the hos and smackn' the bitches. Bling! Bling!"
13) In a sunny field full of green grass with singing birds and pretty flowers, "It sure is nice here. Too bad life sucks."
Nick Dey speaks for the cows he knows.